Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
