Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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