tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
