alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
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Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize