I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
