She went from zero to smokin in five shots
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize