I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He felt like a one man threesome
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
