aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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