I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
