"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize