how can u be prego again
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
