Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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