Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
