i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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