remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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