he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
