I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
