what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
