She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
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He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
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He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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