So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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