Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
