My room smells like vodka and shame
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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