I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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