im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
