whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
My dick has a subreddit
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
