He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
