I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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