someone threw a dead crab at me
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Randomize
