Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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