were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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