i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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