My nipple is on Facebook.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
