If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize