There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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