I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
