The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
