my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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