Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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