Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
