i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize