tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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