It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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