all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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