the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
