you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
