i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize