I just pynch a tree in the face
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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