I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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