Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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