honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
