did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Randomize
