Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
