Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize