Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
