So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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