I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i drank out of a bidet.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Randomize
