so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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