I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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