everyone is single if you try hard enough
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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