My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
